Movie Review!

I saw a movie. Yes.

Ozayr and I used to see movies ALL THE TIME before Maymuna was born. Even bad ones. Lots of bad ones. But going to see a movie in a theater is one of the hardest things to accomplish when you have a baby, or especially a newborn. Sooooo thank goodness for "STARS & STROLLERS"!! or "Cinebabies" as they were called back in the day (uh, 2003). It is truly a phenomenon to behold. Basically the theater provides one showing every two weeks of a movie (this week was "The Breakup") which is baby-friendly. You can bring your baby under one year of age. I know. Crazy.

So we pull up to SilverCity cinema and we immediately know that we're in the right place: there are about half a dozen women with strollers heading up towards the cinema main entrance. Inside there are even more, scooting around, meeting other mommies, taking pictures of their kids next to the movie poster sign (NO JOKE! "it's his first time at the movies!!" I heard her say). Outside the auditorium there are tables set up with diapers of every size and scores of wipes (plus one very stinky huge garbage can). You can see the huddled backs of perhaps a dozen moms all in a row along this table, geting in their last minute diaper changes before the movie begins.

We go inside and quickly nab some decents seats (of course we need FOUR, one for Ozayr, one for me, one for Hafsa's carseat and one for all our bebe accoutrements). Then I send Ozayr out for tons of greasy movie theater food. Honestly I miss that disgusting stuff almost as much as movies themselves. I know that the "cheezy" nacho topping is likely some sort of alien substance, but that's why they serve it almost exclusively in movie theaters: it's DARK so you aren't directly confronted with its neon glow or melted plastic consistency. Woo-hoo!!

By the time Ozayr comes back, the place is packed. Babies. Everywhere. Hippy babies in hemp slings. Jock babies in athletic carriers. Prissy babies in pink frilly headbands (usually these are the babies with no actual hair - ever noticed this?) Diaper bags and strollers everywhere.

Have I mentioned the movie yet? Okay it's "The Breakup" and unless you've been living under a rock you know it stars Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn.


You may recognize this ad from every bus stop, magazine and billboard in recent memory. Soooooo I usually find Vince quite funny - and he is funny in this. But not in any scene whatsoever shared with Jennifer Aniston. The scenes with his buddy are hilarious, the group scenes with their friends or families are pretty funny... but, not with Jenny. Not much at all. I wish the world would just face the facts here - Jen is cutie-cutie and all, but not a movie star, I'm sorry to say. There is quite a bit of hype about how she is starting her movie career now that she's done with Friends, but HELLO? she's been trying to pull off a blockbuster cinema success since she was discovered on Friends ten years ago. All these non-starters can be found on the internet at a million Jennifer Aniston fan sites, but I'll list them here so you can see how many actually ring a bell:

• "She's the One" 1996
• "'Till there was You" 1997
• "Dream for an Insomniac" 1997
• "Picture Perfect" 1997
• "Object of my Affection" 1998
• "Office Space" 1999
• "Iron Giant" 1999
• "Rock Star" 2001
• "Swept Away" 2002
• "The Good Girl" 2002
• "Bruce Almighty" 2003
• "Along came Polly" 2004
• "Derailed" 2005
• "Rumor Has It" 2005
• "Friends with Money" 2006
• "The Breakup" 2006

Not many bells a-ringin' eh?

Anyway, it was an okay film, that said. Not brillant at all, but a nice way to spend a couple of hours (especially if you've been movie-deprived for a year or two). I could have been stuck with a worse movie for a S&S viewing. A few years ago while desperate for some entertainment I saw a Cinebabies showing of Welcome to Mooseport staring Ray Romano and Gene Hackman. It was so bad, not much more can be said other than that. It was BAD.

So what about all the babies? Well, it all works out somehow. I guess in a quiet theater one crying baby would annoy you immensely, but with a general chorus going it doesn't seem so intrusive. Though I think the baby behind us might've sneezed on Ozayr's head. But we all know that with babies it could've been much, much worse.