mag, but something about the cover story hooked me (I think there's something in me that likes to see things organized, categorized, and ranked) and so the "100 Most Beautiful" headline caught my eye.Well. How underwhelming was that.
I vaguely recalled, as I flipped through the mind-numbing pages, that I bought this issue last year too! And I remember now the distinctly familiar feeling of being RIPPED OFF. The world is such a big place, with so many beautiful people in it, but your magazine, once again, just features a rotation of the same big name celebrities. Young celebrities, coming-of-age celebrities, older celebrities, celebrities with short hairstyles, models, models "with curves", celebrities over 60, international celebrities... It goes on and on. Roll call! Julia Roberts? Check! Angelina? Check! Brad? Check! George Clooney? Check! Matthew McConaughey? Check!
Sigh.
NOT THAT I CARE, but really, couldn't you do a little better? I seem to remember years and years ago that you featured some interesting people (authors, athletes, even politicians and activitists, non-celebrity ones) and also there was some quasi-interesting photography too. Instead we get the latest press release photo or whatever photo you had handy from the last time that celebrity was featured in your magazine. There is a distinctly awkward crop-job of Reese Witherspoon, whose head just seems to hover above the bottom of the page. Ugh.
And then there's the "Stars with No Make-Up" feature. Hilarious! I actually didn't even make it past that page in the magazine last night. I laughed until I was so tired I had to go straight to bed. Ahem. No make-up. Let's say I believe you on this one. And no re-touching of the images. Okay, really suspending my disbelief here. But just in case it wasn't enough that all the celebrities you picked are almost all in their early 20's anyway, you blasted each face with a light so bright and fierce that its glare obliterated the semblance of any possible blemish... or pore.
No offense to Rachael, Jessica, Drew and the ladies... you look great and everything... It's just funny. If only I could walk around everyday with my own personal lighting team. Maybe one person could carry a giant flood light, and another maybe a fan for a windy effect. They could engulf me in light/wind whenever the surroundings were unflattering. Anyway, People magazine, I digress.
It was easy to feel a bit skeptical when across the page from your beauty-is-happiness fest is this:
A Botox advertisement. Say it ain't so!! People, we thought you had changed your ways. But alas, this and the 30 million ads for cosmetics and undergarments have betrayed your true mandate! But I guess that's what really sells magazines, ain't it. So go along your merry way now. Perhaps we'll meet again next year. (well, possibly sooner but I'll never admit to it.)
Toodles,
Jen in Minneapolis
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