It’s in our nature to think of the lives we lead as being “the norm.” We take notice when our paths cross with people of other cultures and they differ from us. When this occurs on our home turf, we tend to think of them as being different, or sometimes strange. Perhaps it is human nature to prize conformity to a certain extent. But if we want to live in an accepting and diverse world, exposing young people to differences becomes increasingly important. I think it is so important for people to realize that their way is not the only way. That the person you see in your hometown who is wearing something different, or speaking differently, is not weird. That if you went to their hometown, you would be the weird one!
I think that 90% of North Americans understand all this theoretically, but so many of us go through life without having experienced BEING the “other”, BEING “weird”, BEING the minority in the room or on the tram… Part of the adjustment I see on the faces of the students who come here is that they have never been a minority before… It’s a very enlightening experience, especially, let’s be honest, for white folks. Have you ever been the only white person in the room?
It’s natural too to pick out differences when we travel to a new environment. It’s almost as if we hold up a vellum overlay over what we are seeing. “Ok, no, this doesn’t match up,” we say, and sometimes we can pinpoint where, and other times we know the fit is different but we can’t say exactly how. Some of these things are thrilling and other unsettling, but every time it’s a chance to learn and grow. Here are some of the little things I’ve been noticing since we left North America.
Certain attitudes. Particularly toward smoking, littering, fast food, and pooper scoopers. There are still a lot of smokers out there. A really shocking amount of Italians and Turks are lighting up, everywhere you turn. If you think North America is crippling the tobacco industry because we’re not buying anymore, I am sad to say that I think they have more than enough customers in the rest of the world. Same goes for fast food. Turkey, for one, has embraced the advent of McDonald’s and Coke, with many parents resenting the blatant advertising and inducements to kids (like, get internet credit with your bottle of Coca-cola). Sadly, dropping your garbage on the ground has not gone out of fashion yet. The sides of highways and parks are often strewn with bottles, wrappers. It’s painful to pass by some of the most beautiful buildings in Italy and step over garbage and dog poop.
I have discovered the reason why Americans sound so loud on trains. (This probably goes for Canadians too.) Europeans are pretty quiet on public transport. No loud, too-much-information cell phone calls, or lecturing their kids… They tend to sit pretty quietly or talk in hushed tones. A mobile phone call will be greeted with a short greeting and maybe a murmur or two before the call is quickly ended. This is why, in comparison, every American family who enters the tram saying “JOHNNY ARE YOU ON? STEP OVER THAT. OK. IS THIS GOING THE RIGHT WAY? I WISH THESE SIGNS WERE WRITTEN IN ENGLISH. JOHNNY DON’T LICK THAT!” sounds so obnoxious. It’s probably not (only) that they are speaking so loudly, but that everyone else is so quiet.
Created and creative economies. Sometimes it feels like, in the States, that you either go to university and get a white collar job, or you don’t go to university and you are extremely disadvantaged. Blue collar jobs are looked down upon. In Italy and Turkey, I feel like there is a much wider gradient of opportunities that are considered “successful.” It’s just as valid in society for you to be the 5th generation gondolier in your family. Turks too are incredibly industrious, and where there is a need, a “business” forms to fill it. (no need for a patent or small business loan, lol). Opportunities still exist plentifully within that range between corporate cubical-dweller and garbage man.
Work/Life balance. There’s no denying it, people work HARD here, but somehow work is not king. In Italy, shops and businesses close down in the afternoon for a little siesta. People go home, have some food, maybe a nap, and open up again around 4:30. There is actually a city ordinance in Rome that enforces quiet during this period of the day, just as if it’s night. Ozayr’s Italian colleagues stop checking their work email when they leave work for the day and do not work on weekends. Turkish people have a similar dedication to their work, but will stop for a tea break and leisurely meals. When I think about how we “take a break” in the US, it almost makes me laugh. Even when we go to Starbucks and sit down for coffee, we get “to go” cups, as if we could be called away at any moment!!
The absence of American pop culture. The more time I spend outside of the States, the more I appreciate that people here are interested in real news. The media covers issues and people of actual consequence to the world at large, and the more I see the celebrity culture of the States from afar, the more it seems like a smoke screen a la Brave New World - a diversion that keeps us from being engaged with the rest of the world and our own communities, from caring about things that really matter. Gosh, that sounds extreme, doesn’t it? I guess I have gone almost 2 months without knowing what Kim Kardashian is doing, and I REALLY LIKE IT.
Different courtesies. The guy going through the door in front of you is probably not going to hold the door for you. And you know that way that North Americans sort of hang back from the curb when the bus/subway is coming, because no one wants to be presumptuous and get up there first? That's not going to happen here. If you hang back from the curb, someone else is going to just assume you don't WANT to be first on the bus, and stand in front of you. No one is being rude, I just think it's not the same mentality. Whereas when we stopped in Amsterdam it seemed like everyone stood in line FOR EVERYTHING. One thing we learned in Italy is that they consider it rude to bring you the check before you ask for it. Meanwhile, we are sitting there wondering why no one is bringing the check! It's no wonder that when we interact cross-culturally that it can be so easy to offend one another, don't you think?
Languages. In Europe, and especially Italy, people speak multiple languages as a matter of course. A waiter in Rome or Venice probably speaks AT LEAST Italian, English and French. A concierge in Istanbul will be fluent in Turkish and English. It speaks to me of a willingness to engage, not just with tourists, but with the rest of the world. Am I being too idealistic in this interpretation? All I know is that in North America if someone tries to speak to us and they don’t speak English, we are almost offended. A Coke commercial aired with “America the Beautiful” sung in different languages and it was an outrage. In parts of Canada people grumble about learning both of our OWN official languages.
Meanwhile I find it interesting that though the girls and I have mastered a smattering of Turkish (like under 50 words probably), we can get by quite well. I think this is due to the helpfulness of the Turkish people in general, and because we mainly hang out with ex-pat Americans and other English speaking transplants. This has given me plenty of food for thought, as you can imagine. This is a taste of the immigrant experience for me, but I will save those observations for another post!
PS. Looking at this list, it would seem like I like everything in Italy/Turkey better - not true! I miss so much about life back home... but that's another post as well ;-)