My dear Lamb,

I try to picture myself talking to you as an adult - what would I tell you about the child before me now, who turns four years old today? My darling girl, you are sweetness with big brown eyes and soft apple cheeks. You are simultaneously the lift my heart feels and its sadness as I watch you grow and grow. This year more than ever you have moved away from us, trying your independence and testing me to see if I'll love you anyway. I do, baby, I do.

I don't begrudge you the leaps you have taken this year - while you bravely faced them I hope you heard my cheers of support as I stood behind you. But I am glad you never turned to see the tears in my eyes. I would like to think I helped you but in all truth, it was you who led me. Instead of us carefully placing new experiences in your path for you to try, it was you who sought them. You who challenged yourself. You who found your own confidence - no one can give you that, as hard as I would have tried.

While you are faster to run and jump and climb to the top of every play structure, you have also grown in maturity. A couple of weeks ago you and I went out for coffee. We read books and ate pretzels side by side. I can't tell you how I didn't want that afternoon to end. We must have been gone 3 or 4 hours. We gathered up books and read them, all the while sipping our drinks and talking. This one-on-one time is a tradition we started along with snuggle-fest sleepover nights and nightly chats. Our family culture is slowly being formed through you and the things we do together - another blessing you have brought to your father and me.

You wonder about everything and your questioning "why?" has never ceased in all these years. I have lots of questions myself as I look at you, dabbling in all your new interests - will you write, will you paint, will you run, or work "scientifics" as you call them? At your age you are so open to every experience and I hope we can help you find where your passion lies... There's an amazing excitement as a parent, watching your child find, search, discover who she is.

What will I tell you, when you are grown, about who you are at this time in your life? Only this: I would hold you right now in my arms for the rest of my life. Four years old. I love you.