Parents know you can't underestimate the power of an hour to oneself during the day - whether it's to nap (because you didn't sleep last night), or check your email, or prepare tonight's meal - it is a sanity saver. In my experience that time-out really refreshes everyone so the rest of the day runs smoothly... or more smooth, at least.
That fateful day occurred for us with Maymuna shortly after Hafsa was born (surprise, surprise). It was a battle that I had to throw in order for our mother-daughter relationship to survive - our afternoons were really scarred by our (power) struggle. Was an hour of free time really worth at least an hour of fighting beforehand, while poor Hafsa waited it out in her crib? I never really got the hang of getting both kids to nap simultaneously, so I was almost always looking after one child anyway. So we sacrificed the nap and rejoiced in the fact that both girls now go to bed at 8 o'clock and we have a bit more time to ourselves in the evening.
But what about the daytime? By 3 o'clock I need a rest, a drink of water (or the lunch I never ate), and a bathroom break. The last few weeks several talks with other moms I know touched on this common problem. I heard lots of suggestions... One mother I know would let her child play in a contained, safe place while she napped while pregnant with her second child. Another told me that she takes all her kids into bed with her at 2 every afternoon and they stay there until she gets some shut-eye. And finally an older mom at the preschool told me that she wished she had carved out some more time for herself when her kids were young, looking back she realized that she could've been a better mom if she hadn't been pushing herself beyond her limits. All these things got me to thinking... Maymuna is pretty responsible these days, and Hafsa could use some practice playing on her own for a little while. I could use said bathroom break, and we could ALL use a bit of down time to chill out for 20 minutes or half an hour...
And so Quiet Time was born in the Saloojee household.
I'll be honest, Maymuna cried the first time I told her about the idea. But I kept talking about it and convinced her that she didn't have to sleep, she could PLAY! HONEST!! In fact, she would have Quiet Time in her very own room with all her toys! I got out the baby gate and put it across her room with access to the bathroom (to "keep Hafsa out"), filled Hafsa's crib with toys and plunked her in there, and BOLTED to my room. The first day I wanted them to have a success, so I set the timer for 15 minutes, but today, as I write this, we are timed for 30 minutes, and I can hear both children playing and bustling about on their own... I am loving this quick snatch of solitude to recharge, I think this is a tradition we are going to keep :)
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