a blessing in my life

Let me tell you about two of my favourite friends. We see each other exactly twice a year. We met over 13 years ago at Brown's Cleaners, the drycleaner where we worked downtown. Jane was in high school, while Alison and I had just started university. To be perfectly honest, none of us really hit it off that well with each other. In fact, I think in the beginning we often arranged to work with other colleagues whom we preferred. Then something happened, I don't know when. We started hanging out. Talking a lot. We never talked on the phone everyday, but we would talk an 8-hour shift from start to finish. Of course, eventually we all graduated and moved on from our employ at Brown's. But somehow we remained in touch. All these years later I consider myself so lucky that we did.

On paper we are each as different as night and day. We hail from Uganda, England and Sarnia, Ontario. We are married, engaged, and opposed to the patriarchal institution of marriage. We are a lawyer, a mom, and recently unemployed. We have kids, we want kids, or we don't at all. Once upon a time we lived all on the same street, but since then we have lived in different homes, one down the street, one moved away but came back again, and one has still to return (guess who).

But here's what I love. I could tell these women anything. Anything at all. Twice a year we get together for a no-holds-barred gab-fest in which we really just let it all spill. As different as we are, there is no judgment at our table in Memories or Milestone's, just support and lots and lots of laughs. At dinner last night Alison (possibly the most outspoken of us 3) told the waitress immediately, 'we're here for a long time, and we're going to talk A LOT'. Sure enough, we didn't leave for another 4 hours.

Perhaps it's because we meet so infrequently, I don't know, but I really find these talks help me to really take stock of what's happened in my life since our last meeting together. I spend our time together alternately contemplative, amused and completely in the moment, listening and sharing our stories and lives. I mean, they have absolutely no use for my 'mommy-talk' but you would not believe how intently they listen to what I have to say about food allergies or preschools.

It really came to me last night, the joy I feel in how we appreciate each other's differences, when Alison finished telling an incredible story about a friend of hers who defied the odds of a terminal illness to outlive her prognosis and even have a child. As we looked at each other, we spoke simultaneously, as I said "it's a leap of faith," she said "it's all her determination". Two different takes on the same story, but we were both nodding at each other.

Thank you for an amazing friendship I truly treasure, you have both taught me such a lot... See you when it snows...